This was SO fun and trust me because we have had multiple slime fails in this house. Everyone loved it...
A hand I'll never again hold. I realize this is bold. Its upsetting. Its absolutely heart shattering to look at....
My maybe last baby bump
Today, one month later the pregnancy test is still faintly positive. Part of me is comforted by the line because it makes me feel like it's not as final that you're gone, even though I know you were gone the first day I miscarried. The reminders have been so hard. Crossing out my 11th, 12th, and 13th week I had written on the calendar. My phone alarm/schedule reminding me about my translucency ultrasound just days after I miscarried.
At 7 weeks I heard your sweet, perfect heart beat. Up until then I felt like I was tiptoeing through my pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks, so the 4 week wait to see you felt like forever. As soon as the ultrasound screen went up there you were, and your perfectly flickering heartbeat. I always cry tears of happiness, joy, and relief. You are growing, your heart is beating! We got the due date of September 15th. I fell even deeper in love with you every day.
When I couldn't find your heartbeat at home after just over 9 weeks, I told myself not to worry. Odds of miscarrying after 9 weeks is under 2%. I had no symptoms of miscarriage - no cramping, spotting, discomfort. I just felt great which scared me. When I saw you lifeless on the ultrasound, it is an image I won't even forget. I know technically it was an "early" miscarriage but nothing about it felt early to me. I got to carry you for almost 2 full months.
Even in the valley of loss, God's presence was with me. I know he walked me through so deeply so I could heal and find closure, despite the loss I will feel forever. If you have miscarried and never talked with anyone about it - you can talk to me. Message me on social media or email sunshinesoullife@gmail.com. I am not a doctor, therapist, or anything extra, but I can grieve with you and remember your baby and pregnancy with you. You deserve peace within your grief.
When I couldn't find your heartbeat at home after just over 9 weeks, I told myself not to worry. Odds of miscarrying after 9 weeks is under 2%. I had no symptoms of miscarriage - no cramping, spotting, discomfort. I just felt great which scared me. When I saw you lifeless on the ultrasound, it is an image I won't even forget. I know technically it was an "early" miscarriage but nothing about it felt early to me. I got to carry you for almost 2 full months.
Even in the valley of loss, God's presence was with me. I know he walked me through so deeply so I could heal and find closure, despite the loss I will feel forever. If you have miscarried and never talked with anyone about it - you can talk to me. Message me on social media or email sunshinesoullife@gmail.com. I am not a doctor, therapist, or anything extra, but I can grieve with you and remember your baby and pregnancy with you. You deserve peace within your grief.
To the baby we will meet in heaven
I found out I was pregnant December 31st. I fell in love with you, and we were all so excited. I heard your tiny, beautiful heart beat at 7 weeks and got the due date of September 15th. At my 10 week appointment I found out we lost you. Your perfect tiny heart stopped beating around 9 weeks 1 day. I miscarried and held you in my palm on February 20th. I never knew how devastating a miscarriage could feel.